ABOUT ALLY

PRINCIPLE #1

Jealousy is the most misunderstood and underused emotion for deepening trust and intimacy.

PRINCIPLE #2

We weren't given the tools and skills we need to build the relationships we want and deserve.

PRINCIPLE #3

If we all build better relationships that last longer, we will have a better world that lasts longer.

PRINCIPLE #4

If you're in a couple, you're already in a threesome: you, your partner, and the relationship.

Hi there!

I'M ALLY ISEMAN.

— an ICF-Certified Relationship Coach, a globally renowned speaker on the intelligence of modern desire in relationships, and the founder of Passport 2 Pleasure. I've been teaching Modern Relationship Design since 2016, and I'm the forthcoming author of the book For the Love of Jealousy.

I teach relationships as a skillset — one you can learn, practice, and redesign at any stage, so the deepest trust and intimacy you've ever had becomes possible. Over the last decade, I've worked with thousands of individuals and couples building relationships that actually fit the lives they're living, not the ones they inherited.

I regularly share what I've learned on podcasts, at live events, and through my writing — as a featured expert in everything from The New York Times to HuffPost, Cosmopolitan to LADbible, and more, and as a contributing writer for Sexual Health Magazine and brands like pjur, Arya, and afterglow.

My Portfolio

MY RELATION-trip

After too long a tenure as a serial monogamist jumping from one relationship to the next with about the same amount of time (aka not much) between each, I saw the pattern and — researcher that I am — changed some variables. I wanted to explore. When I tried to open up what ultimately became my last monogamous relationship — without any of the skills or knowledge needed to do so — it blew up in our faces. It hurt but it also showed me this was something real that I needed to explore about myself, but on my own — I didn't want any more emotional casualties on my conscience.

I got on the apps and started checking off a lot of life experiences I was curious to have. One of which was attending one of “those parties” I thought I knew about from films like Eyes Wide Shut. It wasn't until I stepped into my first curated play party — equal parts sensual, safe, and subversive — that I realized how incredibly transformational elevated erotic spaces can be.

After a decade exploring and stepping into leadership roles, I found myself getting regularly approached for support and advice. Both by couples looking to navigate the world of play parties and open relationships, and individuals who wanted more enriching experiences in their monogamous partnerships. These environments seemed to feel to many like a vacation from reality allowing them to strip away their inhibitions and play. Yet when it came time for that same exploration inward to deepen the bonds of their relationships — both to themselves and their partners — it was met with fear and avoidance.

Sexual and relational wellness and the freedom that travel and novel adventure provide belong together. Passport 2 Pleasure was born out of the realization that our relationships aren't a destination we arrive at, but are rather an ongoing adventure with ourselves and each other. I wanted to create a map — not of locations, but of experiences — for people ready to explore the world and themselves without shame or apology: the roadmap for the relation-trip of a lifetime. Now I help couples and individuals around the world collect stamps on their passport to pleasure!

Book Me

"Ally just gets it. Her containers are safe and empathetic at their core. She is a wealth of knowledge, but more than that, she pours her heart into what she does."

J.C.

"When I am in need of insight into a conflict regarding my partnerships, Ally leans in and really listens. Her responses are thoughtful and she takes my personality traits into account, which is a rare find in this space where boilerplate answers tend to be the norm."